Done Right: Drunk Watermelon

A side note, “The Boss” Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.” is playing on MAX through ear-buds as I write this. And if I was reincarnated, I would want to come back as a vodka infused watermelon. This should be a staple on every picnic table this 4th of July!

Strolling through my local East Dallas watering-hole, Beverage Depot, I came across Sweden’s tribute to patriotism. Never one to shy away from liquor covered with the Star and Stripes, I coped it. To make this melon drunk, you will need three ingredients: seedless watermelon (12 lbs), vodka (3 cups), one bottle of pomegranate sparkling lemonade. Cut the top off the watermelon and pour the vodka in. Let it infuse overnight refrigerated.

Above are tools you’ll need to make this melon come alive. And yes, a paint mixer attached to a power drill tells everyone at your cookout “you don’t mess around”. But if you can’t handle that, I guess you can use a hand-held food blender…..pussy.

Clean and sanitized paint mixer before use. Good thing they don’t make lead based paint anymore….I think. After mixing, pour out and set aside.

I am not a plumber but I can “lay pipe”. Don’t ask what size and fitting this is. Just take this pic and show it to an employee at a hardware store. Once they realize what you are trying to make, they will become ever so forth coming with the supplies! Cut a hole at the base a little bit smaller than the pipe, you want a tight fit so you don’t get any leaks. Screw in faucet head.

Pour back watermelon infused vodka juice into the watermelon shell (strained), add bottle of pomegranate sparkling lemonade, and stir. Like Future says…

Wala! magic, Wala! magic, Wala! magic, Wala! magic
Fishtailin’ out the parkin’ lot
Leavin’ Magic
Sipping on the WATERMELON drinking magic.

Clean, smooth, refreshing. Alcohol taste close to none.  Set it off….FIREWORKS


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