Like the 1998 stoner comedy Half Baked, Pie Five Pizza scheme to make a quick buck fails to deliver (also in the literal sense). I must say, the thought of a fresh baked pizza finished and in my mouth under five minute was definitely alluring. Curiosity got the better of me so I had to check this place out.
Walking into the place I was greeted by a gaggle of high schoolers. While waiting a few minutes for one them to decide to help me, I had a chance to look over the menu. Pretty basic selection of sauce and toppings. I asked, “so how do y’all cook the pizza so fast?”. They said the dough is half-baked. The dough is then “finished off” when a person places an order.
I really didn’t feel like building my own pizza, so I just told them to make me two of their most popular specialty pies. Pie Five High Five (I made them say that three times fast) was the house special with Tuscan Marinara, lots-o-meat, and mozzarella. Chicken Carbonara has creamy Alfredo sauce, chicken, bacon, and mushrooms.
Ladies, I wish I could say “this is my hand compared to an extra large pizza” but fail. Pie Five Pizza only comes in a personal size. If you don’t like to share, impatience, and don’t mind a fast food style pizza, here’s to you kid.
Insert favorite Half Baked movie quote here: “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, I’m out!” and never coming back.